Emmylou has decided to set up as an advice columnist.
She says she has experienced being a neglected puppy, a street dog, a pound dog, a foster dog and an adopted dog. She has had to cope with a grumpy old dog (Stig) and the loss of her dear companion, Clancy. Currently she is an only dog.
Word has got out, and Emmylou has received a number of emails.
Dear Emmylou,
My person and her flatmate recently got new boyfriends. The boys say I am too spoiled. They do not approve of me sitting on the couch. And they really take exception to me sitting there with my special cushion. What should I do? from Lailah
Dear Lailah,
You need to remind your person that boyfriends come and go, but dogs are forever.
PS. So how come you are allowed on the lounge? I'm not at my house.
Dear Emmylou,
I have a number of granddogs and I am very fond of them. But I don't always enjoy having them for sleepovers. Clancy was welcome any time, he was never any trouble at all. But that Charlie, he was very naughty. When we went out he barked so loudly you could hear him blocks away, and he widdled inside even though the door was open. What should I do? From Granny.
Dear Granny, I can give you the name of a good kennel where he can stay with a lot of other little dogs that all bark and widdle and no-one will mind.
Dear Emmylou,
My dog has recently become obsessed with watching fish. Some days our walk just consists of her running from one fish-watching spot to the next. And sometimes she does not come at all, even though I call and call her. What should I do? AW
Dear AW, your dog has made an excellent choice of a hobby. I suggest you get a hobby yourself, preferably a portable one like reading or knitting, so you can take it with you.
Dear Emmylou,
You are a good-natured dog, but I think everyone would be happier if you were a bit less crazy and paid a bit attention to those around you. Clancy said you knocked him over a number of times when you were roughhousing with your pals. And I never cared for you barking at me at mealtimes when I stayed at your house. A good start would be coming when you are called. From Hamish.
Dear Hamish, When I said this would be an advice column, I meant I give it, not take it.
Dear Emmylou,
I am a young male Rottweiler. I am sort of big and boofy, but some say I have an adorable face, like a big brown bear. I don't get out much. Lately a really cute young German short-haired pointer has been coming to visit. When she first flirted with me, I just didn't know what to do! But the last time she visited we played chasings and frolicked in the dam. It was the best fun. What should I do next time, and how can I tell her how I feel? From Marty.
Dear Marty,
Just keep chasing me, I love it. xxx Emmylou
ps. Some fish in the dam would be an excellent idea.